When you are having a baby, your life may change a lot. You start to do all those things that you never imagined. You can’t remember what the last day you slept overnight was. Now you can eat standing and you don’t even remember which day it is of the week.
Still, having a baby is the best feeling you will ever get and it is special every time. But having a second baby is quite different from the previous one. In this time, you have to make decisions wisely, considering all the possible factors around you.
Here are the 15 things that every mother should know before having a second baby.
1. You need to get out of the house
This is the time when you are already exhausted doing all the household work and caring for your baby. Doing all these things, you are exhausted and don’t get enough time to go out for fresh air.
Stop! You are going to have your second baby and you have to stop making your life boring. You should be refreshed and energetic than you were before giving birth to the first baby. You have to cure yourself by giving yourself enough time and go out of your house to relax.
You have to convince your family to be supportive and helpful so that you get enough time for yourself. You should give a boost in your life to cope up with the future.
2 You Should (try) to Agree
Well, it’s true that you will be the one who will bear the baby and also give birth to the baby. But you are not the one who is responsible for the baby. You and your partner should be equally responsible for the baby. You need your partner’s support the most through the entire pregnancy period and even in the delivery time.
See Also: 7 pregnancy To Do List
Your partner will be supportive enough only when he will also agree to have the second baby. You can’t make such a huge decision without your partner’s will. If your partner is willing to have a second baby, it’s awesome. If he is not, try to convince him or wait till he agrees.
3. Remember that your older child is gaining a sibling
This is very common that your first baby is a bit more special. So, having the second one can make you feel guilty thinking that your older child won’t get the care that he used to get. You may not be able to give him enough time. This makes every mom anxious. But this is not like you think.
When you are having a second baby, your older kid is not losing anything. In fact, he is gaining a sibling. Sometimes, this is a big issue when the older one feels jealous. To avoid such a thing, you should spend lots of quality time with your older kid during the second pregnancy. It helps to create a sweet and healthy relationship between your two kids.
4. Keep your friends close
Having a second baby can be a little tough for you. You have to be careful of your health along with taking care of your first kid. This may make you feel depressed and sad.
To keep yourself cheerful, you should keep in good communication with your village. We mean your friends and people who are close to you. You should talk to them over the phone about good things and positivity.
Make sure that they are available if you call them in complexity. They should always be with you in both happy and tearful moments.
5. It’s okay to split up
This may sound awkward that we are suggesting to keep your both kids split up. Well, when you get a newborn kid, you may not be able to give proper attention to your first baby as you used to before. This is not your fault at all. It happens for literally every mother. But this is also true that you can’t compromise in raising your both babies.
For that sake, you should think about sending your older kid to a day-care centre where he will get the proper care. This is far better than being a stressed and overwhelmed mom. If you dare to do this, your both kids will get the care that they actually need respectively.
6. Your self-assurance is going to go through the roof
Now you are a mom of a single baby and you are going to be a mom of two babies. There is no doubt that you will be very busy with so many things that you need to do. But you are a human being and you need not be a superwoman.
Stop being busy all the time with everything. Find out a scheduled way to work properly in a very short time. This should be applicable for both your household chores and your career. Don’t let your career be shaken due to the pressure of your household duties. Set your boundaries in everything and act accordingly.
7. The sibling jealousy will pass
This is very common that you won’t be able to give your oldest kid the attention you used to give him the previous days. This makes the first kid very much jealous. He thought that his sibling is the reason why he is not getting the time properly.
This thought is very harmful to both of your babies. You should let your oldest kid keep close to his sibling. You should allow him to touch the newborn under supervision so that he feels attached to the baby. You can start this process from the pregnancy time. You can give books to your child that teach babies how they behave with their siblings and why it is important.
8. Get in some important reading
As we said before, it’s very challenging to keep yourself cheerful in the second pregnancy. You should read books when you have free time. There are lots of books that are full of helpful information about the pregnancy period. You will get all the questions answered in those books.
These books have great lessons regarding how you should behave with your kids and how to develop a healthy and mutual relationship with them. These books are the main tools you can use to cultivate great bonds with your kids. You can read Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings by Dr Laura Markham, Expecting Better by Emily Oster, etc.
9. Your older child is not the babysitter
Every mother who has a baby already leaves the newborn baby to the elder one. We normally do this when we go to the kitchen for a few minutes or downstairs to take some stuff. But don’t do this from today. You should understand that your elder child is not the babysitter. He can’t take care of the newborn baby even for a single minute.
If you leave the newborn child to your older one, maybe he will do something that is bad for the baby. He can pour some harmful liquid into the baby’s mouth. The baby will do it while sharing something generously with his younger sibling. But this is extremely harmful to your baby. So, don’t leave your newborn baby to the younger one.
10. Multitasking is your new normal
Before having two kids, you should know that multitasking will be your regular routine. How? You should be prepared for giving time to both of the babies. Suppose you are breastfeeding your newborn baby.
The elder one may come and ask you to play with him. You have to do it even though you don’t want to do it. You have to give time to both of your babies as they both need you the most. It may be a bit tough for you to manage. But you will be used to it as time passes.
11. Your other children’s needs
When you are thinking of having a second kid, you should think about your financial condition and your family’s needs. You should be confident enough that you will be able to meet the needs of your children.
You have to calculate your monthly expenses and also consider the cost that you should have incurred for the new baby. If you are comfortable enough to bear all the cost, you can go ahead. You should keep in mind that your babies should get all the facilities that they deserve for a comfortable life.
12. Your career
Your career is one of the most crucial things that you should think about before taking any decision. It must be difficult to return to your job after giving birth to the first child. You should know that it will be more difficult after having the second one. You have two ways, Either you should quit the job, or you have to adjust your job time with the daycare centre where you will drop your baby for the entire day.
Now there is a problem. If you are confident that you will be able to finish your job at 5 pm, you can rely on the daycare centre. But if your job is versatile and challenging and requires more time to work, you can’t depend on the daycare centre. So, before making a decision, think about all these issues.
There are so many mothers who regret quitting the job after having a baby. We don’t want you to foot that. You should know what you are doing and should be confident about it.
13. Expect the unexpected
We always expect and pray for a healthy and gutsy baby to be born. But sometimes unexpected things happen. You should be prepared for having a premature baby or a baby who has some health issues. Besides, you may have twins, as well. If you are taking fertility treatment, there is a high possibility that you will have twin babies. So, be prepared for all such situations so that you can take immediate actions for the betterment of the baby.
14. You’ll care less about other people’s opinions
When you give birth for the first time, you may get confused about how to handle everything properly. At this time, everyone around you wants to give suggestions about how you should do breastfeeding, holding, educating, etc.
Maybe you are annoyed with all these things and yet you have to listen to them. But as this the second time, you know everything better and you should know how to handle these people around you. Don’t let them make you mad with those things repeating again and again.
15. Potty train your firstborn now
This seems very chilly to you. But make sure that your first baby is comfortable pooping in the toilet. When you are pregnant, it will be tough to be with him if he doesn’t get the potty training. So try to convince him to follow the rules and get the bed and potty training. If you are able to do this before your second born, it will support you a lot.
Having a second baby is not a matter of concern at all. You can definitely go for it. But if you want to make your future days happy and comfortable with your family, you should make a plan that is based on all the factors that may change your life.
If you know the risk factors, you can take action immediately and it will be good for you and your children. So, think carefully about the things we mentioned above and make decisions wisely. Hopefully, you will get a life full of fun and enjoy life with your family.